Thursday, January 20, 2011

LIFE STORY OF INDAY (ENGLISH-SPEAKING YAYA)




Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday bilang katulong sa Maynila.

Habang ini-interview ng amo...

Amo: Kailangan namin ng katulong para mag-ayos ng bahay, magluto, maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng ito?
Inday: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.
Amo: [nosebleed]

Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang may bukol si Junior.

Amo: Bakit may bukol si Junior?
Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
Amo: [nosebleed ulit]

Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan.

Amo: Bakit maalat ang ulam?
Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.
Amo: [nosebleed na naman]

Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.
Donya: [hinimatay]

Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si Junior sa principal's office dahil di makapunta ang amo at donya.

Principal: Sinuntok ni Junior ang kanyang kaklase.
Inday: It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!
Principal: [nag-resign]

Pag dating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na galit.
Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.
Amo: [nosebleed ulit]

Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si Junior.

Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!
Junior: [takbo sa CR, punasan ang nagdudugong ilong]

Pagkatapos magluto, nanood nang TV si Inday. Nabalitaan nyang umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

Junior: Bakit kaya sya umalis?
Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.
Junior: [tuloy ang pagdugo ng ilong]

Nung gabing iyon, may nag-text kay Inday. Si Dodong, ang driver ng kapitbahay, gustong makipag-textmate.

Inday: To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request - petition denied.

Di naglaon, dahil sa tiyaga ni Dodong, naging siyota nya rin si Inday. Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday kay Dodong.

Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!
Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken. What you seem to contrive as any affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Hereto for, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself."

May dumaang mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan nina Inday at Dodong.

Basurero (sabi kay Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you'll realize that the one you gave away is the very thing you've been wishing for to stay.

Narinig ang lahat ng ito ng amo ni inday.

Amo: [nagpakamatay]

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